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July 26, 2007

Let's Destroy That Imagination

     Yesterday my father-in-law, my son and I went to the local junkyard for a visit, and to buy an old used bicycle.  I like junkyards, and this one is among my favorites: dead buses, an upended steel boat, lots of dead cars, a huge working sawmill (when they aren't junking, the men at the yard provide spruce and oak planks on order), some living cars that don't look so hot, a Model T in a garage, old records, augers, sickles, sledge hammers, post hole diggers, and plenty of tools I don't know the names of.  The talk is salty, too, and direct.  My father-in-law, an ex-junker himself, and the two men in the barn (who were stripping tires off car wheels) got into a long conversation about platinum in catalytic converters, what to do with shredded tires, how to separate one kind of plastic in a car's bumper from another, how much you can get from the gold in a computer (not much; $36 per 100 computers), where the bauxite is being mined for our aluminum (Africa), where it isn't being mined anymore (Arizona), how the price of copper has swung wildly in the last few months, and why -- you name something that can be crushed, melted, or burned, and they talked about it.

     The old man at the yard never graduated from the fifth grade.  He dropped out of school in the old days when people had to work hard for a living, and you needed a young fellow's hands and shoulders and back, not to mention his cleverness, to haul in tons of fish, or get ore out of the ground, or load ships with gravel from the mountainside, or build up the biggest junkyard in the county.  So he learned a lot of things, as did my father-in-law, who did graduate high school before joining the Navy.  Now, maybe the old fellow didn't learn who Canada's second prime minister was (Alexander Mackenzie, for whom the longest river in North America is named -- or for a kinsman? -- if the Missouri is not considered the headwaters of the Mississippi).  But then, none of the young people in Canada nowadays know that, either.  The old fellow didn't have much book-larnin, but then, neither do the kids whose days are now eaten up in the institution.

     It used to be common for boys (I'm thinking of junkyards here, after all) to hang around grown men and pester them, or to overhear their conversations about bauxite, platinum, catalytic converters, drive trains, and cheap labor from Someplace Else.  That was bound not only to provide them with a fund of general knowledge, but to stretch their imaginations -- as was, likewise, their nearness to fascinating machines, like pile drivers or backhoes.  People in general were proud of the cleverness of human industry: old-time postcards would include photos of coal-mines, fisheries, sawmills, lumber camps, and quarries.  You understood that without such places, as "ugly" as some snobs might consider them, you don't have that city with the bright lights and the fashionable people dining at Toots Shor's.

     I'm not sure what has happened to that fascination with the human mastery over inert and difficult matter.  I am sure that school teaches next to nothing about it; if it does mention it, it is with a faint sniff of contempt or suspicion.  In any case, the boys (I'm talking about junkyards, again; you could say analogous things about what girls used to learn by hanging around women doing their work) who are not at the junkyards of the world, who are not hanging around men-who-know-things, are having their imaginations stultified.  Of that I am sure.

     The subject is on my mind, because I'll be writing a book soon about the clever ways we've invented to destroy the imagination of a child.  All suggestions welcome .....

Posted by Anthony Esolen at 10:36 AM | Permalink

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Comments

Thanks for this! Your understanding of imagination reminds me of inventio, the rhetorical task of discovering something to say. When Nathanial Hawthorne looked at everyday things in the moonlight, he saw the things, but also reflected on their meaning. In contrast, the common notion of imagination is a romantic cancellation of the real.

Here's a question for you. Why is it that 6th graders have a rich metaphorical sensibility and tackle analogies with gusto but 8th graders are densely literal and struggle with analogies?

Posted by: Fred | Jul 26, 2007 11:52:40 AM

The best way to destroy a child's imagination? Let them watch TV for four hours a day. (It'll also do a number on their innocence, so it's a twofer.)

Posted by: Gene Godbold | Jul 26, 2007 1:01:19 PM

Another way to nuke a kid's imagination: If he wants to try something that will make a mess or inconvenience you, *don't* let him. If he offers to help you do something (and the help will prolong the time it takes to complete the chore), *don't* allow it.

Posted by: Gene Godbold | Jul 26, 2007 1:04:31 PM

Professor Esolen,
I think I'll read your book because (it seems) my imagination is so destroyed that there's not a bit of it left to serve as evidence of how it got into that state. I thought I'd like to take you up on your call for suggestions, but I'm just drawing a big blank. I don't think I've ever imagined things except future personal ambitions.

Posted by: Clifford Simon | Jul 26, 2007 1:07:37 PM

Clifford,

I prescribe a few weeks in the English countryside and a copy of Lord of the Rings and the Silmarilion.

Posted by: Wonders for Oyarsa | Jul 26, 2007 1:10:50 PM

How about this one:

Never allow your child to be "bored." Keep him busy with plenty of organized activities. Limit the amount of unstructured time he has during the day, especially during summer vacation.

Posted by: Mrs. B. | Jul 26, 2007 1:22:37 PM

Here's another:

Read your child only children's books written after 1970, so he will get plenty of moral lessons of the modern type (recycle, be inclusive, don't be violent) but never a good story.

Posted by: Judy Warner | Jul 26, 2007 1:32:23 PM

A child's imagination is undermined when everything he plays with is a plastic replica of something from a cartoon, movie or video game. The imaginative work is all done by entertainment providers and the kids become consumers of derivative ideas. To counter this, you need to have a bunch of unrelated stuff laying around so that little Johnny has to work out how two sticks, some string and a bottle cap can be turned into a bow and arrow, or how a broom handle, piece of canvas and duct tape make a cool flag.

Posted by: Dale Decker | Jul 26, 2007 2:30:43 PM

Keep them from problems, and the ones that do get through, solve for them

Posted by: PAUL KURITZ | Jul 26, 2007 2:35:40 PM

Keep them from problems, and the ones that do get through, solve for them

Posted by: PAUL KURITZ | Jul 26, 2007 2:36:22 PM

Keep them from problems, and the ones that do get through, solve for them

Posted by: PAUL KURITZ | Jul 26, 2007 2:36:40 PM

Hallowe'en is right out!

Unfortunately the human imagination is a very hard thing to kill by direct means, so an innoculation against Hallowe'en works better than an outright ban. Allow sanitized, postive-role-model costumes at a "Harvest Festival". (No guns or swords. Pirates are okay, because they're sailors who say "ARR!" and hunt for "buried" treasure. Soldiers are out, though superheroes are in. That might SEEM to be counterintuitive for an anti-imagination campaign, but the key is that a boy feel actual connection to the soldier while superhero status is unattainable and thus an eventual tremendous disillusion.) (Princesses are very imporant to underscore feminine authority in your boys' mind, and will be at your festival in droves. It is not enough that they be sweet, however; many a lad's imagination has taken flight in proximity to princesses - no, you must be certain that everything at the event is keyed to a princess' sensibilities, everything calculated to her comfort zone seven mattresses high, with never a pea in sight.)

At the Harvest Festival, hold "games" devoid of any element of competition, and provide lots of treats as simple largesse. (The previous custom of approaching darkened doorways provided a bit too much thrill, and as for the bad old days of actually playing "tricks" - well, let's just say imagination ran rampant back then.)

Posted by: Joe Long | Jul 26, 2007 2:39:42 PM

How about this:

Don't let boys and girls actually BE boys and girls. Don't let the boys play with guns and the girls play with dolls. They might imagine themselves to be defenders of a woman's virtue and mothers.

Posted by: robert buechler | Jul 26, 2007 2:45:36 PM

Build playgrounds so safe no child could ever possibly scrape a knee.

Build huge suburbs with streets so wide you can't cross them in a month of Sundays so the kids can't trek very far.

Engineer those suburbs in such a way, pools of water never collect in anyone's yard after a heavy rain.

Make kids put on pools shoes or river sandals whenever they get near a body of water. Heaven forbid they should ever feel the sand between their little piggies.

Make their environment safe and convenient for the adults who planned to have them at the proper spacing intervals.

I know I'm only a girl and you all seem to be mostly talking about boys, but I remember with sadness the time, two years ago, when my Doc said I needed a tetnus booster. For the first time in my life I had gone ten years without injuring myself in some thoroughly preventable manner.

Kamilla
(who refuses to reveal her age, lest that prove to be n embarrassment)

Posted by: Kamilla | Jul 26, 2007 3:00:07 PM

I was captain of my high school and college rifle teams, and I not only let my boys (and girl) play with guns, I took them all to the junior rifle club and taught them to shoot competitively. So when my daughter went off to camp, she beat all the boys in riflery. It came in handy later, when some Aussie friends invited her to hunt kangaroo and complemented her on the way she handled a shotgun (though I still wonder if you shoot them on the way up or on the way down...)

My oldest boy is an Army officer now, and my youngest an EMT/firefighter who also shoots on ranges from time to time. Almost any community has a club of sporting enthusiasts who will happily introduce the kiddos to ways to exercise their Second Amendment rights.

Posted by: Dcn. Michael D. Harmon | Jul 26, 2007 3:14:21 PM

Let kids have school assignments in which they are repeatedly told to "be creative!" and "think outside the box!" That's a sure-fire way to breed imagination-destroying anxiety and fear that they won't measure up.

Posted by: Katherine Philips | Jul 26, 2007 4:19:01 PM

Ms. Philips,

Ironically enough, whenever I was told to perform thus, I found myself gravitating toward something that was oddly conservative. Like for a play, my school being underfunded--and by underfunded, I mean administratively stingy--our teacher/producer/director told us to get our own costumes and get stuff that was bright and colorful, to "think outside the box." I was so bright and colorful that I was dressed in black and white; at the end of the production run, he was so good as to comment that my outfit "was great. It had the contrast, two colors, everything."

Which is better architecture (not just spiritually/morally, but just on basic beauty): the Experience Music Project in Seattle, WA or Notre Dame (which I trust I don't have to link to)? Duh. Think inside the box, people. Teachers will think your "drawing inspiration" and being so beautiful.

Posted by: Michael | Jul 26, 2007 4:24:15 PM

Banish the writings of CS Lewis, JRR Tolkien, Edith Nesbit, Frances Hodgson Burnett, LM Montgomery, Louisa May Alcott, Rosemary Sutcliff, JK Rowling, Laura Ingalls Wilder, GA Henty, the lady who wrote Scottish Chiefs (whose name I forget), Robert Louis Stevenson, GK Chesterton, Brian Jacques, and any other such writers who might possibly inspire imagination in the young! It is chiefly on their heads that the blame for my rather wild imagination falls; the countless hours I spent as a child inspired by their books sitting in closets trying to get to Narnia, fighting pitched battles against Cluny the Scourge in the back yard, pretending to be Almanzo Wilder's sister Alice, and daydreaming about William Wallace and the brave young Edwin Ruthven can only have encouraged my powers of imagination:-)

History lessons, moreover, should be made as dull and dry as possible and Arthurian legends and ancient myths banished from the curriculum.

My parents failed in their duty to destroy my imagination, chiefly because reading was actually a reward for good behavior in our house-some kids are banned from tv when they're bad; when I was seriously out of line, they forbade me to read except for school for a week, which left me desperately reading cereal boxes at breakfast (this is the honest to goodness truth. I was a very strange child). In order to quash imagination, reading should be made into a punishment and tv-watching a reward.

Posted by: luthien | Jul 26, 2007 4:39:34 PM

Luthien,

I am deeply perturbed by your upbringing. I probably would have considered that cruel and unusual punishment and made claims of child abuse. A week without books would be akin to a few minutes without air.

Posted by: Michael | Jul 26, 2007 4:48:12 PM

Michael,
Nothing else really worked; I tend to forget lectures, was too dreamy and happy to sit alone in a corner for grouding and time-out to work well, they believe in spanking only very rarely (and I never did anything that bad), I had no allowance to be cut off, and so in desperation they were driven to banning free reading. I do plan to do the same to my children, I guess the cycle of violence is repeating itself;)

Posted by: luthien | Jul 26, 2007 5:03:12 PM

"the lady who wrote Scottish Chiefs (whose name I forget)"

That would be Jane Porter. I graduated from a Christian school in which 'The Scottish Chiefs' (Wiggin-abridged version, with Wyeth illustrations) was required reading. Hence, I knew all about William Wallace before 'Braveheart' made its appearance.

Posted by: Rob Grano | Jul 26, 2007 5:56:38 PM

Prevent your kids from playing outside. That's a sure-fire way to kill the imagination. My sister and I played outside frequently, and always pretended we were in fairy tales, or archeologists digging up dinosaur bones, or that we were runaway orphans. It was so much fun because we lived close to a creek with much overgrown brush. We were also away from the indoor rules that kept us constrained--inside voices, don't run, don't throw things, etc.

Your book sounds interesting. I'm looking forward to reading it.

Posted by: Kacy | Jul 26, 2007 7:32:24 PM

Hi Kacy,

I also had one of those wonderful areas to play in - a small wood that was damp in the spring with pheasants and rabbits and the occasional owl.

I'm looking forward to the book, too - though I am cracking open "Ironies of Faith" on my vacation next week (OK, I admit it, I joined the ISI reader's club!)

Kamilla

P.S. and speaking of vivid imginations, I also just purchased Jasper Fforde's latest "Thursday Next" offering. If Harry Potter supposedly interests kids in practicing magic, I wonder if Fforde is inciting imaginations with dreams of Jane Eyre, etc.

Posted by: Kamilla | Jul 26, 2007 7:47:29 PM

Thanks, Rob:) You had the same edition as I do, and those illustrations are just glorious, aren't they? NC Wyeth definitely carries a certain share of the blame for my having an imagination. So there's another rule for destroying imagination. Avoid good illustrations and beautiful art.

Posted by: luthien | Jul 26, 2007 7:54:33 PM

Here's one that I swear some highly educated parents I know practice: do not allow the kids to play any "make-believe" games, because in such games some kid ends up playing superior roles while others play subordinates, or some play good guys and some play bad guys, either of which is Very Bad for some reason I am unable to understand, probably because my mind was warped by so many terrible make-believe games when I was a child.

Posted by: Matthias | Jul 26, 2007 8:07:49 PM

They are not allowed to play "capture the flag" or hunt for lightening bugs on summer nights.

They are not permitted to camp out in the backyard in a tent. They must always sleep in their own beds every night.

They are not permitted to play in the rain.

They are not permitted to take off their shoes and socks...ever...not even in the house.

No guns. No cops/robbers. No bad guy/good guy type games.

Color inside the lines only. Never color a face purple. Don't you KNOW that faces are NOT purple?!

Let them play on the computer or play TV games when ever they want.

Start them on Baby TV at age 4 months. Always pick them up when they cry.

Make a child the center of the universe. Everything revolves around him/her.

Posted by: Philippa Alan | Jul 26, 2007 8:43:48 PM

You will perceive that these points are interrelated (except for the last, which is an example of the opposite extreme from the others):

Try to make them into you or what you wish you were rather than letting them develop their own strengths and interests.

Turn every childhood hobby into an adult endeavor. (e.g., baseball card collecting and trading becomes an investment activity; little league baseball becomes prep for the major leagues with practice and playing time consuming all of the family free time and stealing some time that is not free)

Give structure to every moment of their waking hours.

Pick one activity for them to devote all their time to in hopes that they develop extreme expertise in it. (As if Mozart was a prodigy because his parents forced him to play the piano and compose music when all he really wanted to do was run through the mud.)

Encourage spectator activities; discourage or don't find time for participatory activities.

Posted by: GL | Jul 26, 2007 11:33:58 PM

Dr. Esolen, perhaps you should write it in the style of the Screwtape Letters. ;-)

Posted by: Wonders for Oyarsa | Jul 26, 2007 11:39:57 PM

I worry that some parents will take this book as serious child-rearing advice. It could become a textbook in teachers' colleges.

Posted by: Judy Warner | Jul 27, 2007 7:58:47 AM

Avoid any toy that doesn't have batteries.

Posted by: GP | Jul 27, 2007 8:04:28 AM

Excellent, excellent!

Clearly y'all have been channeling my mind here. But keep the suggestions (and the examples) coming.

My favorite, because the most dastardly, and the hardest to perceive: structure the child's time, make everything an adult activity. Mrs. B, you are right on the money, there. I can't even think about what our ectoplasmic schools have done to summer vacation without wanting to throttle somebody. Also, gracious, we mustn't let children fall for or into anything: the first rule of the nannied state. Second rule: geld and spay, geld and spay.

It's about 88 degrees up here in Nanada today, and the news stations are filled with warnings. "Danger, Will Robinson, danger!" Got to stay inside. Keep your children safe. Turn on them air-conditioners. What people who have to crack the permafrost to plant their lettuce and potatoes are doing with air-conditioners, I don't know, but there you have it. It's interesting to me, too, that all talk of environmentalism goes out the window (with the warm air) when the temperature hits 85.

"Throttle," by the way (I'm still thinking of Nanada's shrunken 7-week summer vacation), is a really nice word -- it's related to "throat," with the iterative syllable "-le" added -- as in "giggle," "waggle," "haggle," "bubble." So it means "to grab by the throat and shake back and forth." This is an etymological moment brought to you courtesy of Touchstone Magazine.

Posted by: Tony Esolen | Jul 27, 2007 8:21:52 AM

1. Never go camping, hiking, backpacking, or fishing.
2. Always buy "developmental toys" that are "age appropriate," reccomended by pediatricians to turn your baby into a genius.
3. Never let your child choose anything. Always make all choices in advance and tell the child "You will learn piano/play soccer/whatever."
4. Never allow your child to have a pet.

>>Pick one activity for them to devote all their time to in hopes that they develop extreme expertise in it. (As if Mozart was a prodigy because his parents forced him to play the piano and compose music when all he really wanted to do was run through the mud.)<<

One of the most pathetic things I ever encountered was family in which every child was raised to be a musical genius. They had six kids, and each played a different stringed instrument (even the 18 month old, who had her own 1/32 size violin. Bet you didn't know they made them that small.). I shared a stand with one of the middle sons in orchestra, and he was one of the most miserable kids you could ever find. He hated the violin, and dreamed of tossing his into the dumpster every night after rehearsal. He could play beautifully, but I'm sure that as soon as he's grown and out of the house, he won't.

Posted by: RMC | Jul 27, 2007 11:27:28 AM

"Dr. Esolen, perhaps you should write it in the style of the Screwtape Letters. ;-)"

No, No. The Inferno! The Loss of Imagination as the Descent into Hell with John Dewey at the center munching children.

AMDG,
Janet

Posted by: Janet C. | Jul 27, 2007 12:47:26 PM

Constantly ask the kid what he's doing, what he's thinking. Never let him just spend time on his own. This will build him a habit of always having a ready translation of his imaginations into adult terms: which is much like "translating" water by evaporation. To polish it off, romanticize your interptetation of his thoughts! Tell him he's cute. Let him know how much you treasure the precious moments of watching him.

Posted by: Clifford Simon | Jul 27, 2007 7:33:30 PM

Don't play with them.

(I just spent a couple of hours this afternoon with my older two at the pool. I was an alligator and they were at first people trying to avoid being eaten and then baby alligators learning to hunt and then my five-year-old became a shark who turned on me. This was all their idea. I just played the role I was assigned. :-) ).

Posted by: GL | Jul 27, 2007 9:56:30 PM

To polish it off, romanticize your interptetation of his thoughts! Tell him he's cute. Let him know how much you treasure the precious moments of watching him.

I have seen a couple of pieces lately that relate to this point. One, in the WSJ, questioned why young adults are so narcissistic. One theory is that they spent their entire childhood being told how special they were. The late Fred Rogers was cited as one culprit. See http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118358476840657463.html?mod=Letters. It is just another example of how taking a good idea to its logical extreme can do so much damage.

Posted by: GL | Jul 27, 2007 10:22:52 PM

Stifling children's imaginations:

1. Increasingly complex toys.

For example, today's Lego sets have specialized parts, meaning that they have less utility. More can be done with the plain rectangular blocks.

We have a cabin on an island where there is "nothing." Just the woods, the beach, and the ocean water. Our cabin lacks even a telephone. Yet my teenage daughters are amazed that there is so much to do -- because they are forced to use their imaginations and interact with nature.

Posted by: ralphg | Jul 29, 2007 11:36:07 AM

Never have more than one child. If you feel compelled to break this rule, have no more than two.

Posted by: RMC | Jul 29, 2007 11:43:23 AM

Make him share his feelings with you at all times. Do not discuss his activities with him, only his feelings about his activities.

Posted by: Judy Warner | Jul 29, 2007 2:31:29 PM

My cousin and I (both of us in our twenties, I might add) have a longstanding grudge against the infamous lego "special pieces". I'm happy to note that my Lego cathedral is virtually all standard bricks, as befits a house of lego worship.

Posted by: Peter Gardner | Jul 29, 2007 9:34:08 PM

Let him watch the movie before (or instead of) reading the book.

On Legos: I have refused to buy the special sets for my children. I found that I could supplement our basic collection from Lego.com, which offers bulk bags of standard bricks and custom mix & match elemets (in addition to the many, many sets).

Posted by: Susan | Jul 29, 2007 11:00:18 PM

>>It's interesting to me, too, that all talk of environmentalism goes out the window (with the warm air) when the temperature hits 85.
<<<

In my neck of the woods we call that comfy.

Posted by: Bobby Winters | Jul 30, 2007 7:01:26 AM

>>It's interesting to me, too, that all talk of environmentalism goes out the window (with the warm air) when the temperature hits 85.
<<<
85? That's pretty wimpy; down here we turn off the ac when it gets that cool in summer! If it's not too humid that's perfect beach weather:-)

Posted by: luthien | Jul 30, 2007 9:43:12 AM

When choosing books, always pay attention to the reading level/age recommendation. When in doubt, underestimate. Assume that a story like Oliver Twist is too much for an 8-year-old's emotional grid to withstand. Also assume that you can't go wrong with the Berenstain Bears.

Furthermore, always insist that a toy be used for the purpose for which it was intended. Very Velvet Barbie CANNOT be named Joseph or turned into a fairy who lives in the back yard. No no no.

Posted by: Sally | Jul 30, 2007 12:01:37 PM

To destroy the child's religious imagination,

1) Make sure all catechesis is on "his level," which begins by assuming he is constitutionally incapable of actually learning Biblical or theological terminology.

2) Completely demystify the liturgy and make "we" the subject and object of "Christian" worship. Expunge the texts of parochial or arcane language and of any word containing more than 3 syllables. By all means don't let a single word in Latin be uttered, lest someone badly catechized (see 1) hear "hocus pocus". Under no circumstances let it even be possible for someone to mistake the liturgy for some mystical and/or sacred act that exists independently of an observers' subjective appreciation of it.

3) Encourage (viz., force) the child to create his Own Personal Jesus.

Speaking of Legos, have you guys seen the Abston Church of Christ?

Posted by: Steve Nicoloso | Jul 30, 2007 11:37:21 PM

Wow! Since I have been pondering over all your comments, I think I have to make an addendum to my first post on this thread (way, way up at the top). Actually, I imagined much and often - probably until I was 17. It only got more and more private over time. But finally, seeing about me no recepticle for any such habits of the mind, and also (the real reason I think) because good imagination was too disciplined and difficult for me, I concluded that my imaginations were embarrassments best forgotten.

Now (thanks, Tony!) I'm experienceing this freaky sensation like I'm a God-crafted human being from planet Earth. I don't quite know what to do with it...

Posted by: Clifford Simon | Jul 31, 2007 1:11:41 AM

Ban fairy tales.

Make a fetish of being clean (my in-laws totally freaked out and more than hinted that I was an abusive mother because I bought used clothes at a thrift shop on purpose for the children in which to get gloriously muddy. I had a friend who told her baby it was 'bad' to dump her her oatmeal in the high chair tray and fingerpaint in it). Anything messy must be bad.

Don't allow any pets on the grounds that they are messy.

Insist on gender neutral toys. Preferably plastic, single use toys that you can't really do anything with.

Don't allow risks of any sort. Only a bad mother would let her baby bump her head by standing up too soon under a coffee table. Only a bad mother would let her kids ride a bike without elbow and knee pads. Only a terrible, terrible mother would let kids swim in a creek instead of a paved, chlorined, lifeguarded official swimming pool.

Don't let them have free time. Hours spent where nothing is planned or demanded of them, are, after all, hours just wasted.

Sign them up for every after school program, before school program, weekend program, organized sport, and extra camp or lesson available.

Posted by: DeputyHeadmistress | Aug 1, 2007 2:08:22 PM

Anyone whom you pay to spend time with your child must be better for your child than you are -- only a loser would do it for free.

Travel without your child -- you deserve a break, and a child can't appreciate beautiful places, anyway -- or if you must travel with your child, go only to amusement parks. And be sure your car has a television, so you won't have to play the ABC game, and your child won't ever be forced to notice any change in the landscape.

The only songs children are capable of learning come from Barney. Don't imagine for one minute that your three-year-old could learn to sing the "Salve Regina."

Keep the pretty china put away until your last child turns 30. Don't have anything beautiful or breakable anywhere in your home, because the children will only trash it. Maybe Ma Ingalls could travel around the frontier in a covered wagon with a china shepherdess -- but I'm fairly sure there was nothing significant about that shepherdess, and you ought to save yourself the heartache of having something that might break, and your children the psychological damage of being exposed to something which they are not allowed to touch.

Posted by: Sally | Aug 1, 2007 3:13:20 PM

>>Anyone whom you pay to spend time with your child must be better for your child than you are -- only a loser would do it for free.<<

Right. And make sure you send them off to those expensive experts at the very first opportunity. You've done your part just by bringing them into existence- they no longer need you. (And you shouldn't have to be bothered with them anyway)

Posted by: RMC | Aug 1, 2007 3:34:59 PM

>>>Anyone whom you pay to spend time with your child must be better for your child than you are -- only a loser would do it for free.<<<

So much for several millennia of child-raising. But I'm getting used to peopel thinking of the 1950s as "The End of History".

So, let me clue you in on some stuff:

1. In the ancient world, there were many different models of child-rearing. For most of the lower classes, they were literally farmed out to work at an early age. Childhood ended early, and segued immediately into adulthood around the age of fifteen.

2. For the upper classes, kids were regularly sent to a tutor. Parents had little to do with them at all--even as infants they were handled by nurses. From about age 15 onward they were treated as adults, the girls to be married off, the boys to begin career training (which is to say, learning by doing). Of course, there is also the Spartan agoge, which is best described as raising kids by enrolling them in the Cub Scout pack from hell.

3. In the middle ages, we see the charming practice of apprenticeship, in which children as young as seven or eight would be indentured to a craftsman of some sort, and provide him with cheap labor in return for being taught a trade.

4. For the nobility, this meant being sent as a squire into another noble household (sometimes in a reciprocal exchange), where you would stay until adulthood.

5. From the 18th century onward, we see children of the upper classes raised by nursemaids, educated by tutors, then sent off to boarding schools where the communal behavior would raise the hair on your neck. Why do you think they call underclassmen "fags" at Eaton?

Anyway, all this parental neglect must have had an amazingly deleterious effect on childish imaginations, considering that all the great authors, artists, composers, philosophers, statesmen and soldiers went through one form of it or another. Obviously, their parents were all losers.

Posted by: Stuart Koehl | Aug 1, 2007 3:36:32 PM

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