Unhappy with the Housewife

Columnist Terry Mattingly looks at feminist reaction to writer Caitlin Flanagan. I read everything Flanagan (who is, as Mattingly points out, an abortion-rights supporting feminist liberal) writes, and have spoken with her in a radio interview. She is a brilliant essayist who seems more and more uncomfortable with the world of careerist feminism and liberationist sexuality. Whenever I read her writings, I seem to pick up the faint echo of a Nicodemus, questioning around the Question somewhere in the night.

The horror Mattingly describes from Flanagan's feminist critics (one says that the only thing worse than a "happy housewife" is a "happy housewife who writes for the New Yorker) is, it seems to me, the kind of horror a "true believer" reserves for a heretic.

Comments

[luthien]

Does Ms. Flanagan count as a housewife? I read her book To Hell With It All-Loving and Loathing Our Inner housewife, and she veritably flaunts being an inept housekeeper and needing a nanny.

[Tope]

Luthien -

I hardly see how she could count as one. She readily admits to not even having to lay her own bed! She's a woman with an independently wealthy husband who's qualifications as a housewife boil down to working from home while hirelings care for her kids and her home. She's part of the jetsetting housewife crowd - you know, the women who travel from city to city, show to show and conference to conference telling women that they belong in the home. Oh, the irony.

[Mark Galli]

The Ms. Flanagan strikes me as someone on a journey who has just discovered something many of us take for granted. So be it. I couldn't disagree more with many of her views, but what a refreshing change of pace for a card-carrying liberal to say things like: choices have consequences; we live in a finite world; something is lost when women give up full-time mothering; one must be faithful to the marriage vows.

I say give credit where credit is due.

[Jennifer K]

Since when does one have to make beds to be a housewife? My mom made me make my bed growing up, but neither my husband nor I makes ours, figuring it's just going to get unmade again that night. Now if I could only figure out how to avoid washing dishes and doing laundry...

[Bobby Winters]

>>Now if I could only figure out how to avoid washing dishes and doing laundry...<<

The dishwashing thing is easy. Just quit eating!! I've put my powerful mind to the clothing question have determined the answer might be disposable clothing. Or perhaps a return to Eden...

[M.F. Lamond]

For most of history, the role of all wives above the middle ranks of society lay largely in supervising the work of their servants. They would have been surprised that this disqualified them for "housewife" status.

My own mother never had fewer than two servants, and worked in much of middle life to help educate her large family. But she considered being a housewife (and mother) her highest calling. In the years she was able to stay at home, our household was impeccably organized--meals, domestic comforts, the garden, and entertainments were at a level my own children will never experience.

Ms. Flanagan (her maiden name, hence my use of the title) is certainly a housewife, I think, but also a self-employed cultural entrepreneur. Selling the surplus produced by the household was also a traditional part of housewifery; eggs, beer, or fruit were sent to market. In this case the surplus is of writing and ideas.

[Patrick]

According to Proverbs, at least, supervising the servants well was part and parcel of being the perfect wife. Making the beds is not mentioned. Well, actually, literally making the bed is mentioned, tidying up the bed after a night's sleep is not. That which is mentioned are these things (paraphrased):

1. A woman who is worth more than precious rubies.
2. A woman who is trustworthy.
3. A woman who will enrich life.
4. A woman who will not hinder but help all her life.
5. A woman who will find flax and wool and busily spin it.
6. A woman who drives a long way to go buy some food.
7. A woman who gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast and plan the day’s work in the house.
8. A woman who inspects and buys real estate.
9. A woman who plants grapes and makes some wine.
10. A woman who is energetic and strong, a hard worker.
11. A woman who is a bargain hunter.
12. A woman who stays up really late.
13. A woman who keeps busy by spinning thread.
14. A woman who loves to twist fiber.
15. A woman who helps those in need and welcomes them.
16. A woman who has no bad feelings about winter.
17. A woman who makes her own bedding.
18. A woman with excellent fashion sense.
19. A woman hot for powerful men.
20. A woman who makes clothes and sells them to upscale shops.
21. A strong woman.
22. A dignified woman.
23. A woman who laughs in the face of danger.
24. A woman who boldly walks into the future.
25. A woman who speaks with wisdom.
26. A woman who speaks with kindness.
27. A watchful woman who will keep her eye on all the miscreants we will have working for us.
28. A woman not suffering from laziness.