Via the Wall Street Journal, a link to another site for Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA, where you can sign up (for $110) an atheist who will watch your pet if the Rapture takes place in the next ten years. "But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind." In FAQ, it is claimed that this is no joke, but a serious offer, plus:
Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.
But, then again, who wants his dog raised by a blaspheming atheist? Catch 22?
What? You mean my dog won't be raptured?!
Posted by: Bill R | September 02, 2009 at 06:29 PM
Methinks these well-meaning atheists won't have enough wits left about them to care for pets should they indeed find themselves "left behind".
Posted by: Shane | September 02, 2009 at 08:49 PM
I think they will have more wits about them than those who hire their services. Theologically speaking, the idea of the Rapture is utter nonsense. Spiritally speaking, anyone who "looks back", as this service implies, shouldn't be raptured anyway.
It's hard enough dealing with the evil that is actually going on in the world without worrying about what to do about one's pets when God so inconveniently deprives them of their masters.
Posted by: Christopher Hathaway | September 02, 2009 at 10:06 PM
God figured out how to take care of the animals once (Gen 6) and I'm sure He can do that again.
Let atheists have a chuckle for now.
Posted by: Don | September 03, 2009 at 07:52 AM
Things will be so bad by then that pets will bring a high price, but not for companionship. lev. 26:Further, (O)you will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters you will eat.
I bet pets go first.
Posted by: will | September 03, 2009 at 08:25 AM
Christopher - I must agree that any believer who would dole out $$$ for this service may indeed have lost their wits, but the rapture is Theological nonsense? I'm no fan of Tim LaHaye and his usurpation of John's Revelation, but Matthew 24:36-44 is pretty plain, as is 1 Corinthians 15.
Posted by: Shane | September 03, 2009 at 09:03 AM
"...who wants his dog raised by a blaspheming atheist?"
Didn't Hitler treat dogs better than people? That might no be saying much, of course, but he did have a reputation as a dog-lover. He loved dogs so much that his got the same treatment as the Goebbels children, though.
Posted by: Jordan | September 03, 2009 at 09:20 AM
Looking back?
"Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel."
Yes, the rapture is indeed theological nonsense. But, if someone believes it, I wouldn't consider it at all a stain on their character to see for the well being of their pet.
Posted by: Wonders for Oyarsa | September 03, 2009 at 09:29 AM
Well, to believe in the Rapture, you have to believe in not only a Second Coming, but a Third. Jesus returns for the (living) saved, and then returns again for the general judgment and the raising of the dead. Nonbelievers in the Rapture read the passages cited here as descriptions of what will happen when He returns, once, for good and all. Nothing in the Corinthians passages contradict that, and the people "left behind" in the Matthew passage could just as easily be the ones destined for judgment, not redemption, when the Lord appears "as He left you."
But I guess we'll all find out. But don't get me started on the dog thing. Though I will note that in "The Great Divorce," C.S. Lewis, who once opined that animals were not saved (as they had not only had no souls but no individual identities – saving Dog X was exactly the same as saving Dog Y or Dog Z, and thus pointless), depicted a bunch of pets in Heaven along with the saved soul who had loved them so much on Earth.
But as someone noted on another blog, if you do trust your dog to an atheist, be sure first that the person you pick is not dyslexic.
Posted by: Michael D. Harmon | September 03, 2009 at 12:23 PM
The whole thing is goofy. Wouldn't that encourage you to hope (indeed count on) that the atheist never converts?
Posted by: Margaret | September 03, 2009 at 06:50 PM
Margaret, that's why they make sure first to blaspheme the Holy Spirit. But of course the whole thing is goofy!
Posted by: Wonders for Oyarsa | September 04, 2009 at 09:11 AM
My cats have a better chance of being raptured than I do.
Posted by: P H Reardon | September 04, 2009 at 01:24 PM