To Serve Man and Enjoy Him Forever

No doubt many of you have seen the story circulating about a NASA report, "Would Contact with Extraterrestrials Benefit or Harm Humanity? A Scenario Analysis," warning that unless we humans take better care of our planet, particularly by addressing the problem of climate change, extraterrestrials "could attack and kill us, enslave us, or potentially even eat us."

I think the NASA researchers have been watching the Twilight Zone a bit too regularly, particularly the famous episode, "To Serve Man." Here's the full episode:

But you can also skip ahead to the kicker.

Maybe this is a report from the Onion that got picked up accidentally. I checked and it's not April 1, anyway, but I can't see how such a report would push public opinion in favor of increasing funding for a struggling government agency.

Worshiping the goddess of environmentalism does precisely what Rod Serling warns, devolving human beings from "dust to dessert" and from steward of the planet to "an ingredient in someone's soup."

Ronald Reagan said, "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" But maybe we should fear instead the word, "I'm from another planet, and I'm here to help."

It's a cookbook!

Comments

[Matthias]

The news report is in error. There is no "NASA Report" that says these things. There's an article written by a guy who happens to be a NASA employee. Big difference.
http://paleblueblog.org/post/9110304050/some-important-points-of-clarification

[Jordan]

It's still pretty funny.

[Deacon Michael D. Harmon]

"From dust to dessert" would be better matched with "from steward to stew."

Just trying to stir the pot a bit.

[Robert Espe]

So taking better care of our planet would make us a less likely candidate for conquest? Because people never steal NICE things.

[Jordan]

Deacon Harmon, that's brilliant!